Mother Admits She Was BUSSUP!

“The mother of Lisa Irwin, an 11-month old Missouri girl missing for nearly two weeks, said in an interview she was drunk the night the infant disappeared”-CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/17/justice/missouri-missing-girl/index.html



You know, I was talking to my homeboy the other day, and we were discussing shoes. He was going on and on about Jordans and I cut him off with “It’s about time for a little white girl to turn up missing…” Now before you judge me, allow me to explain. You and I know that every 4-6 months a new little girl mysteriously vanishes. Of course I know that there are other toddlers of different races that are playing hooky from their play pen, but it seems that the little white ones get the most publicity. And Be-Golly Missouri answered my call.

            Before you start feeling sympathy for this family, please re-read the featured quote. The Mother comes out weeks later and says “Oh by the way, I was Bussup when I lost her.” Now I am a drinker so I KIND OF understand, but then again… NO! Allow me to list a few things that I have lost while intoxicated: Car keys, My Car, $37.49, two Blackberries, An iPhone (Original), a pack of clinic issued condoms, 6 Jolly Ranchers, my mind, my virginity, 2 girlfriends, a fiancé, (did I mention my car?)… my friends car, a watch, Anne Frank’s Diary, Knock-off Prada Shades, a shoe, an UPS tracking number, an autographed photo of Rodney King, a pair of used underwear, my other friend’s car, 2 friends, and a stomach full of microwavable Lasagna. Nowhere listed was an infant… Can somebody please explain to me, how is it motherly possible to get that BUSSUP? Please inbox me the type of Vodka that this chick was chugging.

            SHOUT OUT TO: Mrs. Darwin, I mean, Irwin… For answering my call for Dumbass Entertainment.